Depression & Anxiety

My Personal story about my journey

The reason I am sharing this story is in hope that it might help even one person who could be going through the same.

There is such a stigma of shame and guilt over having depression in / or anxiety, and a lot of times we put it on ourselves and we need to stop.

I blamed myself for years, it took time but I don't blame myself anymore , yes at time moments of shame.

When I was diagnosed with depression I was asked did I want medication? I choose not too , but let me say before I go on , I do not have an issue with medication, and at times I wish I had asked for the scrip but at that time I wanted to try it his my way.

I used exercise ( when trauma entered my world I didn’t turn to alcohol or food ) I would run 5km daily , started journaling and meditation.

The running turned into walking and lift weights , I still journaled and meditated but I also seek help in the form of therapy.

At times I wished I had a pill to take to just take the edge off the emotions. Depression, anxiety and PTSD make you feel so many emotions ( sometimes all at once ) and the speed that you switch emotions can make your head spin.

Having an anxiety attack while grocery shopping is humiliating and debilitating.

Pretending to be ok all the time is tiring.

Having thoughts of suicide can come from feelings of guilt and self hate.

I am never extreme even though I try to do something everyday, I plan it out and if injured I rest, if I am not into the run, I walk. If I am not enjoying the weight session I change it up. I have not enjoyed all things I’ve done but I’ve never regretted any.

I may not of taken medication but I have tried and use CBD, Ashwagandha & lavender. I journal and meditation ( as I said before ) .. do they help ? I don’t know but I doing these things for myself is better then over consuming food and alcohol, so to answer the answer the question, I need to reframe it.

Do these things help ME ?

Yes ( and maybe ) , when I look at how far I have come over the years, I believe that some if not all these things have helped me.

The maybe is because I am not yet healed from my trauma, but I am heading in the right direction.

So use what ever tools you need to help YOU , if it’s with medication or If you take a similar road to me, it’s about what’s BEST FOR YOU